You may be looking for family mediation in Epsom this January, if you and your partner have recently made the decision to divorce.
January is wryly termed ‘divorce month’ by lawyers, with the first Monday back referred to as Divorce Day due to the uptick in people filing for divorce at this time of year.
New research from Richard Nelson solicitors has found that searches for ‘I want a divorce’ rose by 230 per cent in the first week of January 2020 compared to December 2019.
Reasons are myriad but many people point their fingers at the stress many may feel over Christmas. This is thought to be due to the pressure many feel to create a happy family Christmas and also disappointment at one’s spouse when this hasn’t been realised. Many people believe their expectations of their relationship will be realised at Christmas but when these don’t materialise they realise the relationship is over.
Relate relationship counsellor Gurpreet Singh told the Evening Standard that the time of year was particularly difficult for a number of reasons: “Any post-holiday break, when you get a period of intense time with each other, you start to wonder if you belong together.
“Anxieties come up and you get time to think and evaluate, and you come up wanting to work things out. People have different views and they end up in arguments.”
“Your argument might start with the dishes before escalating to ‘you never listen to me’. All you need is a trigger for it to escalate.
“You end up evaluating when you have a bit more time to yourself. Most of the time you’re taking care of things rather than wondering what’s next in your life.”
What is family mediation?
If you are somebody who has found themselves facing the possibility of divorce this January then you may be wondering how to make the process as painless as possible.
This is where family mediation comes in. Instead of your divorce going through courts you instead meet with family mediators who can discuss what it is you do agree on around the split so you can come to a mutually agreeable decision.
Family mediation doesn’t mean that you will necessarily completely avoid the courts, but it does mean that you won’t needlessly end up there if you and your soon to be ex-spouse do agree on certain aspects of the split, such as residency, who looks after children when finances and the splitting of assets.
Family mediation can help if while you don’t feel like talking directly to your spouse about plans, you feel it would be more productive to speak about these issues with a third person who can find common ground and also help you put your views and preferences over to your spouse where you might otherwise find this difficult.
Family mediation is particularly recommended where there are children in the marriage in order to ensure that their needs are met throughout the process and after the divorce is complete.
